Ok, so the title is probably a lot misleading. I wanted to do kind of a weekly thing filled with all the little random turd nuggets I can’t bulk out enough with waffle to fill a whole page but I couldn’t think of a title so yeah, work with me on this one for a bit. It is however Friday, so it’s not completely bollocks, just mostly….
I don’t use Tinder, so forgive me if I don’t really have a clue how it works. But I reckon it’s like the tinterweb version of the really cheesy chat up lines that people used to try in the nightclubs when I was younger….. I had an Australian friend, who I will call Jade – because that was her name – She used to chat guys up by asking them if they wanted to see her map of Tazzie. Which according to her was Aussie slang for a lady garden…I have no idea if she was lying or not but it sounded plausible to me after 8 Bacardi Breezers and to her credit, it did yeld her some excellent results. Sadly (or fortunately, depending on your view) the same couldn’t be said for me asking guys if they wanted to see my map of Swaffam. Anywho it all kicked off this week when some woman said that Tinder was basically shyte and they came back & said “eff you hoe, we rock & we’re responsible for a shit ton of marriages.” So now my word (or words) of the week is (are) “Shit tons” Which according to my twitter chum yes, in deed is a recognised unit of measurement.
Twitter has changed the favourite icon to a love heart. so I think it’s only right the notification should change to highlight this. if someone presses your love heart, I feel that ‘Cletus favorited your tweet’ doesn’t do it justice. should be something like ‘Cletus fucking loved your tweet’. Actually maybe there should be two buttons? so you can ‘favorite’ ones out of politeness & a ‘fucking loved this’ button for the ones that you wish you’d thought of first. I’d be all over that, shit tons!!!
Remember #WheresRory from earlier in the week? Of course you do! Unless you have dementia or something then maybe you don’t, Maybe you wish you had dementia because I’ve just reminded you of it? Whatever, I don’t know…sorry about that. Well I was quite impressed with Chris when we took Rory out visiting Norwich, he totally embraced the challenge. Standing in a surf shop (don’t ask) His eyes suddenly glazed over and he started pointing and squeaking “RORY!!” like a little kid whose just spotted the ice cream van (he actually does that too, but that’s another post). Anyways, here we are, this is his take on it…….
Do you wonder what your thoughts would actually look like if they were a person? Well I found out this week when I discovered a brilliant blog. If you ever needed an insight into the random thoughts inside a middle aged ladies head without installing surveillance cameras around my house, then here it is. I LOL’d my head off. Bridget definitely belongs in my tribe.. The picture isn’t me or her by the way. I have no idea what Bridget looks like when she does her grocery shopping but it’s a fairly good example of what I look like in the supermarket….Except I have my cats in one of those double baby seat trolley things….
& I just decided these kind of weekly snippets are going to be called FFS Friday’s. Like my WTF Wednesdays, just on a different day.