Okay, I know I said that this week, the tour was going to be of Great Yarmouth. But I changed my mind because I can do that sort of shit, because it’s my blog. So instead, I am going to tell you all about the Hooge Poomah. You may have noticed I’ve not been about much this week, and that’s because I have been researching….yes, me! RESEARCHING! Can you believe that? I am almost beginning to feel like a proper writer! – Of course in my head, I have always been a proper writer. As well as being a fantastic cook and house wife, sex goddess and uber babe. All while working a 90 hour week as a kick arse manager and saving the animal kingdom from evil.
Anywho, the Hooge Poomah. I have always heard stories of the Hooge Poomah, as far back as I can remember. Infact, my very own daddy had an encounter with a Hooge Poomah in the late 1980’s while he was out walking his German Shepard. He left the house early one evening to take the dawg on his constitutional and returned within about 10 minutes. My mum asked what was up, as he hadn’t been out for as long as usual and dad said he didn’t want to talk about it…. It later transpired (after dad had a few beers and felt he needed to unburden himself of what he had seen) that he had been walking the dog across one of the fields behind the house when he had seen this massive black cat trotting in and out of the trees. He wasn’t too keen on either him or the dog becoming large cat nibbles, so he turned round and walked home…all be it slightly quicker than he had walked there. Worried that he had inhaled too many fibreglass fumes in his car workshop, he decided not to tell anyone. But my daddy is not the only one to have witnessed giant pussies in the Norfolk country side..
These are all from real calls to Norfolk Constabulary. Genuine sightings of large black cats or too many pints of moonshine? Meh, you decide…and please don’t let the last part of the report cloud your judgement…
It’s been a bit quite on the Poomah front in the last few years, but there was a report of a lion on the loose in Essex last year. Essex, isn’t that far from Norfolk, and it’s still in East Anglia. The only difference between Norfolk and Essex is that they all wear more jewellery and are mostly the shade of satsumas, but that aside, we are virtually all related..
But enough with this already, that’s only hearsay, and I want to give my readers hard photographic evidence of the Hooge Poomah.
Okay, hold up….*sounds of record scratching* these are pretty crap, aren’t they? Well, it’s fortunate for you, dear Norfolk lovers, that I happen to have my own collection of genuine Hooge Poomah photos, which I have been slowly adding to over the years. I mean, I never really wanted to go public with my findings through fear of all the media attention. But, do you know what? I love you all enough, to share them with you……
Join me again next week, for the launch of my KEEP NORFOLK NORMAL Campaign….
UPDATE – Sometimes, I just effing well love the universe. Especially when it drops stuff in my lap like this. Click on the link below to read the full story….