The Leg-end of the Hooge Poomah

Okay, I know I said that this week, the tour was going to be of Great Yarmouth. But I changed my mind because I can do that sort of shit, because it’s my blog. So instead, I am going to tell you all about the Hooge Poomah.  You may have noticed I’ve not been about much this week, and that’s because I have been researching….yes, me! RESEARCHING! Can you believe that? I am almost beginning to feel like a proper writer! – Of course in my head, I have always been a proper writer.  As well as being a  fantastic cook and house wife, sex goddess and uber babe. All while working a 90 hour week as a kick arse manager and saving the animal kingdom from evil.

Anywho, the Hooge Poomah. I have always heard stories of the Hooge Poomah, as far back as I can remember.  Infact, my very own daddy had an encounter with a Hooge Poomah in the late 1980′s while he was out walking his German Shepard.  He left the house early one evening to take the dawg on his constitutional and returned within about 10 minutes.  My mum asked what was up, as he hadn’t been out for as long as usual and dad said he didn’t want to talk about it…. It later transpired (after dad had a few beers and felt he needed to unburden himself of what he had seen) that he had been walking the dog across one of the fields behind the house when he had seen this massive black cat trotting in and out of the trees.  He wasn’t too keen on either him or the dog becoming large cat nibbles, so he turned round and walked home…all be it slightly quicker than he had walked there. Worried that he had inhaled too many fibreglass fumes in his car workshop, he decided not to tell anyone. But my daddy is not the only one to have witnessed giant pussies in the Norfolk country side..

Hooge Poomah report 12

Hooge Poomah report 2

Hooge cat sightings1

These are all from real calls to Norfolk Constabulary. Genuine sightings of large black cats or too many pints of moonshine? Meh, you decide…and please don’t let the last part of the report cloud your judgement…

When I read stuff like this, how can I NOT be proud of the people of Norfolk???

When I read stuff like this, how can I NOT be proud of the people of Norfolk???

It’s been a bit quite on the Poomah front in the last few years, but there was a report of a lion on the loose in Essex last year.  Essex, isn’t that far from Norfolk, and it’s still in East Anglia.  The only difference between Norfolk and Essex is that they all wear more jewellery and are mostly the shade of satsumas, but that aside, we are virtually all related..

Teddy the Essex lion

But enough with this already, that’s only hearsay, and I want to give my readers hard photographic evidence of the Hooge Poomah.

I think this looks more like a plastic dinosaur in the bottom left of the picture.....(Photo courtesy of iwitness24)

I think this looks more like a plastic dinosaur in the bottom left of the picture…..(Photo courtesy of iwitness24)

Okay, so this is actually a Lynx and not a Poomah...or if you're under 80 years old with relatively good eye sight, it's a tabby cat.

Okay, so this is actually a Lynx and not a Poomah…infact, to anyone under 80 years old with relatively good eye sight, it’s a tabby cat. (Photo courtesy of the newspaper I can’t remember the name of that I snipped it from of the internet….That still counts as credit, right?)

Okay, hold up….*sounds of record scratching* these are pretty crap, aren’t they? Well, it’s fortunate for you, dear Norfolk lovers, that I happen to have my own collection of genuine Hooge Poomah photos, which I have been slowly adding to over the years. I mean, I never really wanted to go public with my findings through fear of all the media attention.  But, do you know what? I love you all enough, to share them with you……

Real Hooge Poomah

Real Hooge Poomah in town

Join me again next week, for the launch of my KEEP NORFOLK NORMAL Campaign….

UPDATE - Sometimes, I just effing well love the universe.  Especially when it drops stuff in my lap like this. Click on the link below to read the full story….



10 thoughts on “The Leg-end of the Hooge Poomah

  1. So…ok. Background story: there’s a show over here called “Once Upon a Time” and it’s one of those that is really fun to watch even though it shouldn’t be – it’s made by Disney, for godssake, and is about all the fairy tale characters being cursed to live in Oregon or … no, maybe Maine. Someplace near a coast.
    Enneehow, there’s one episode where we see Little Red Riding Hood’s origin story and she’s being all locked up at night by granny to keep them safe from the big, bad wolf. Granny sits at the door all night with a gun. Red has to wear her red cloak because the color red keeps people safe from big, bad wolves, so on and so forth. But it turns out – HERE COMES A SPOILER! – that Red’s actually a werewolf (or maybe whore wolf, like your prostitute) and the cloak is magic and makes her not turn at the full moon but sometimes, she gets out and creates havoc and mayhem and granny knew this all along and created the whole ruse to keep Red indoors during wolf times. Ya with me?
    So I’m wondering if Hooge Poomah, especially since you have some up-close and personal sightings/pictures, is similar. As in…it seems that maybe the offender lives, perhaps, someplace close by to you…very close by…and gets out and terrorizes the town and you’ve been trying to keep it inside so that the townsfolk don’t go after it with pitchforks and tar and stuff. All I’m saying is that your story matches Red’s in a weird way.

    And also – are your lynxes wildly (heh heh – wild ) different from our lynxes? Because lynxes over here look NOTHING like that. They’re all puffy with tufted ears and aren’t black. To be fair, you did mention that to most people, the lynx is really a tabby, which is sort of accurate anyhow since many lynx do like like big, fluffy tabbies. With tufted ears and awesome sideburns. Well, mutton chops, I guess. Puffy side hair on the face.

    Holy cow, I need to shut up and get to work. I’m getting ridiculous and the morning has just started.

    • A lynx with mutton chops? I need to see if I can ahem…’find’ a picture of one of those..That one was definately a tabby cat, but there have been genuine lynx sightings in Norfolk and one was shot a few years back. Apparently, they blame these wild cats roaming Norfolk on the change of law in the late 70′s which meant that people were no longer allowed to keep them as pets. So they are out there… Re, the whether or not I am granny and I know who the Hooge Poomah’s are….well, I couldn’t possibly say….lol. ;-)

  2. Woah! The lionadoodle was in YOUR neck of the woods? I saw that on MSN yesterday! HOLY WILD ANIMAL, CATMAN! That’s crazy!

  3. Unbeknownst to me…I live with a baby Hooge Poomah. I jokingly tell him how fierce he is. I had no idea that he could possibly rip out my throat after curling up on it during one of our naps. Thanks for the heads up! And kudos to Norfolk for having a barrage of fun, lethal ‘kitty cats’ running loose. It gives those daily walks/runs a whole new feel of adventure!

  4. Pingback: Road tripping around Norfolk like Normal people. | NORMAL FOR NORFOLK

  5. Somehow, I managed to miss all of this Hooge Poomah action! I am so very thoroughly disappointed in myself. I’m going to go take a walk. In the woods. In the hopes that I get mauled or eaten by said Hooge Poomah or Sasquatch.
    I really need to move to Norfolk. Not only are things wild aminals living randomly in the neighborhood, but the people out there obviously have NOTHING against drinking excessive amounts of liquor laced with LSD…

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