This is so scary you may just poop your pants

Okay, so you are probably more likely to poop your pants laughing…..

Anywho.  Have you ever seen this?

If you have, then you will know how brilliant it is. If you haven’t yet watched it, then I think you should.

In Norfolk, we don’t believe in spending money unless absolutely necessary so why spend £12 on a DVD when you can scare yourself stupid by visiting here for £5..

Ah, the legendary House of Wax in Great Yarmouth. Place of my childhood dreams and nightmares.

It is possibly at this point where you are about to see just how similar Norfolk is to Texas. You know how Texas had the ‘Keep Texas weird’ campaign? We don’t have to worry about such things in Norfolk…Any one “what in’t frum round hare” is seen off long before they even get chance to worry the locals enough about the loss of their heritage.. or their extra finger. I don’t know where they go to, but let’s just say, we have rather a lot of unnecessary flyover bridges in Norfolk – You get my drift? So, let me share with you some of the awesomeness that is ‘The House of Wax’..Oh, and I’m not going to tell you who they are…you have to guess and let me know who you think they are…There is a prize of some specially chosen for you Great Yarmouth seaside tat  for the most imaginative guesses….

Ah, the queen of hearts..And fashion icon of her time….no, seriously……We were all dressed like this in OUR WORST NIGHTMARES.

This is the other brother…I know it’s the other one because he is wearing clothes and not playing pool with his penis…or what ever it was that ‘the brother’ got up to in Vegas…No one will ever really know, because apparently it has to stay there…The story, not his penis…can you imagine living in a different country to your penis????

 

….Dying on the toilet while eating a honey coated banana hamburger kind of pales in significance in the embarrassment stakes when you see this….

No this isn’t his pet chimp..no it isn’t any of his sisters….actually I’m not entirely sure it’s him either…..And it’s not Lionel Richie in Panto.

*Point to note: Repeat all of the Norfolk lines exactly as they are written *Voila!!* You are now speaking with a Norfolk accent…That will be £200 for accent training please…I will accept cheques, postal orders or penny chews as payment..

18 thoughts on “This is so scary you may just poop your pants

  1. I don’t know much about celebrities, so I’m just going to run down the hall, pants around my ankles, arms flailing, yelling out random things in the hopes that I’m right.

    1. That’s the Tooth Fairy. Although, I’m not sure why they call her that because she looks a lot like a human. Maybe her skin is made of enamel.
    2. I have no clue, but he looks like the kind of guy that would tie you up in the cellar and eat your skin. “mmm… There’s nothing like grilled thigh meat and cheese with tomato soup on a cold day! *handsaw starts up* Now hold still!”
    3. That’s the guy that drove around my neighborhood in a windowless van offering kids a free ice cream cone and a trip to the playground. Note: that is not I’ve cream. Do not eat.
    4. Harrison Ford? Prince Henry? A child molesting princess from Never-Land? A honey badger in a leotard? I give up…

    • err… That was supposed to be ice cream. Not I’ve cream. Wtf is that? Stupid phone…
      Forgot to tell you that I’m jealous of your wax museum. I’ve never been. Any time I’ve been near one, I’m too busy to go, and that makes me a sad panda.

      • Ah, this is one sad wax museum because it is likely to close as the owners are now too old to look after it…I wonder how much wax museums cost?? You think you’ve got problems, twice I typed in ‘wax’ and it was corrected to ‘waz’. A waz museum? Not something I really want to imagine…lol

  2. Okay, I’ll give it a go.
    1. A national (now buried) treasure, which I will not be digging up. (Although what I would dig up could not look any scarier than this semi-likeness.
    2. The demon child of the above semi-likeness…definitely not our sweet Wills.
    3. You mean that’s not Satan’s cape? He’s a hunka, hunka burnin’…something, but I don’t think it’s love.
    4.She…I mean he…wait, I can’t quite tell….Is it a drag queen? If it comes back from the dead, it will be less of a thriller than you may think.
    So, how’d I do?

  3. 1. My evil bitch 4th grade teacher. Man, I hated her ass…. it really does kinda look like her!

    2. Overbite Boy

    3. Neil Diamond looking a bit foggy after someone whacked him in the head with a board

    4. The black Phyllis Diller

  4. Wow, a worst nightmare scenario right in your own hometown? Norfolk keeps sounding more and more terrifying.
    Nothing is scarier than a wax museum…except for a psychotic rampaging killer clown.

    • haha! Not the hometown fortunately, although I know a certain lawsbian who comes from only a couple of miles away… They have a dungeon there as well with wax figures of serial killers and murderers throughout history.. Totts agree with you with the clown. I was walking down the street after a bad storm last year and a balloon was just bouncing along the ground..lets just say I was VERY apprehensive about walking past the drain inlets..

  5. OH, those are easy.
    1) Martha Stewart’s jealous sister who never left 1989;
    2) That guy from “Team America”;
    3) Hawaiian Elvis. I mean, come on. He filmed there, then stayed there and that’s what he looks like now;
    4) Yeah, Evil Squirrel was right. That’s Phyllis Diller.

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